Thursday, February 21, 2013

Sometimes Life Sucks

This is me an my momma. This is one of my absolute favorite pictures of us. It's old yes, (from my 16 birthday lol) but I love it. Pictures of us are few and far between. My mom has always hated having her picture taken, and I never thought to push the issue. Now I wish I would have. I wish I had more pictures of us together.



You see, our world was turned upside down in the late summer of 2010. We got the unthinkable, unfair diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer's. Excuse me? Alzheimer's? No, no no. You see, I'm a nurse. 57 year old, healthy, funny, intelligent, hardworking women don't get Alzheimer's. People get it late late in life. After they have enjoyed retirement for a while, enjoyed their grandkids, traveled, enjoyed the changing relationship with their children to friends.

I was supposed to be able to call up my mom in the middle of the night with my first child in tears because I don't know what I'm doing. I was supposed to be able to ask her when I started sitting up, crawling, walking and all other fun milestones my Brody was reaching. Brody was supposed to be able to "go on vacation to my Granny's," like my nieces and nephews did.

Instead we are dealing with early retirement and disability, selling her house and moving in with my sister, the inability to read a clock or get out correct change. My mom doesn't know how old I am or when my birthday is. And you know what? It sucks. It's horrible, it's not fair and it sucks. My mom is seriously the best mom in the world. We had the most amazing relationship that has been forced to change. And I hate it. It has rocked my family, my faith and my life to the core and it's not fair.

Sometimes a girl just needs her momma.....

6 comments:

  1. Praying for you today Sarah... I can't imagine how hard it must be on you, but you are strong

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    1. Thank you Ruthie, your prayers and encouragement are SO appreciated.

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  2. Breaks my heart for u sarah! I luv u and ur mom very much! You have the best mom n the world! Life is soooo unfair and i dont understand why bad things have to happen to such wonderful people like ur mom! You're n my thoughts and prayers! Need ANYTHING im here!! Luv ya!!

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    1. Thanks Dianna. She is, by far, the best :)

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  3. Sarah my heart is heavy for you and I can feel so much what you are feeling. Take pictures now even though things arent the same. At least you will have some. I wish I would have had more with my mom. When we were going through pictures for her funeral service a week ago my sister commented we needed to look for more because I wasnt in pics with mom. I said that is because I was behind the camera... my mom had no quality of life and we think she had Alzheimers setting in too. Cherish the memories you have and if you need to talk just call me or walk across the street I will be here to listen.

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